


The Heartbreaking Truth (Is You Don't Love Me Like I Love You)

by justanotherrollingstony (adoctoraday)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, One-Sided Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Pining, Post-Avengers (2012), Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Friendship, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:54:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28428873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoctoraday/pseuds/justanotherrollingstony
Summary: Heartbreak is something Steve is familiar with; he lost his ma, his best friend, and now he's watching Tony fall apart right in front of him and there's nothing he can do about it.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	The Heartbreaking Truth (Is You Don't Love Me Like I Love You)

**Author's Note:**

> This came about from an anon prompt on tumblr: Heey can u write an angst like what if after the New York attack, Steve realized he f*cking love Tony and he thought Tony most likely did too coz the way Tony took care of and look at him OMG and he rushed down to the workshop to confess to Tony at the exact moment Tony said to Pepper 'I have to protect that one thing that I can't live without. That's you'. BOY THE HEARTBREAK

Watching the gold and red armor of Tony’s suit fly into the sucking black vastness of space scares Steve more than anything has in a very long time.

This world he lives in now is strange and bright and loud and so too is Tony Stark—he’s mouthy and sharp and too much, but for some inexplicable reason, Steve likes him.

**_That’s a one way trip_** he tells Tony, heart lurching when it doesn’t slow Tony down at all—if anything that suit gains speed and then, all at once, it’s gone.

Chaos surrounds them and they fight for their lives and the lives of the citizens of New York City, and all the while, he thinks how very wrong he was about Tony Stark.

When the portal closes and Tony crashes to the ground, still and silent, Steve’s skin crawls—it’s wrong, Tony is the most vibrant person he knows, he needs to sit up and crack a joke, say something inappropriate, smile for gods sakes.

And then he does, and Steve’s shoulders heave with relief.

Tony’s not a soldier, but Steve doesn’t want to lose him.

* * *

Tony laughs from where he’s sprawled on the floor, and Steve’s heart clenches at the sight of the fine lines around Tony’s eyes, at the way his whole body lights up when he’s happy.

He wants to make Tony smile like that everyday.

Tony takes the hand Steve offers to help him up from where he’d thrown Tony during their training session, smiling still. “I’ll get you one day,” Tony promises, and Steve laughs, pats him on the back.

“I’m sure you will Tony.”

* * *

He draws Tony incessantly; Tony in the suit bruised and bloodied, Tony in the workshop talking to the bots, Tony asleep on the couch, Tony, Tony, Tony.

He’s not stupid, he knows what he feels for Tony isn’t just friendship, but old habits die hard and he swallows it down, telling himself that this, what they have, is good enough.

* * *

He finds Tony in the communal kitchen at 3am, staring blankly down at the granite countertop, lines of tension in every inch of his body and Steve’s instantly alert because something is very clearly _wrong_.

He calls Tony’s name softly and lays a hesitant hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently when the other man flinches.

“Tony? What’s wrong?” he asks quietly, hovering, hand still on his shoulder.

“I see that goddamn hole in the sky every time I close my eyes,” Tony whispers hoarsely, “and Christ, I’m just trying to keep her safe, to keep you all safe, but I can’t do a goddamn thing _right_ ,” he chokes out, shoulders heaving on a half sob.

Steve’s throat is tight with emotion and he fights the urge to envelope Tony in his arms, settles for squeezing his shoulder gently instead.

“I know you are Tony—you _do_ protect us,” he murmurs, “no, you do,” he insists when Tony makes a wet scoffing noise. “Tony you gave me a home when I felt so out of place in this century. You gave Natasha and Clint and Bruce someplace _safe_ —you know what that means to them?” he asks, “you Tony, you’re the heart of this team. We wouldn’t be even half of what we are without you.”

Tony turns then and looks at Steve incredulously, eyes filled with hope and disbelief and Steve can’t hold back anymore. He steps closer, close enough to see Tony’s eyes widen and slides his arms around Tony’s back, feels the bump of his ribs under his fingers before flattening his hands out and spanning them across Tony’s spine.

He pulls Tony in and slides a hand up into his hair, guiding Tony’s head to rest under his chin.

Tony is stiff for a long moment and Steve worries he’s overstepped, and then suddenly Tony melts into him with a hitching breath, hands clinging desperately to the fabric of Steve’s T-shirt.

He hears it when Tony’s facade breaks, finally, and feels the tears wetting his shirt. It breaks his damn heart to hear Tony in so much pain, to know that he’s been hiding it behind a mask all this time.

He rubs Tony’s back and flexes his fingers against Tony’s scalp, hushing him gently, humming an old Irish lullaby his mother used to sing when he was sick and tired.

It seems to do the trick because Tony goes limp slowly, tears slowing, until he’s breathing softly in Steve’s arms, the warm pant of his breath against Steve’s clavicle making him shiver.

“C’mon,” he murmurs, “let’s get you back to bed.”

Tony nods, forehead pressing into Steve’s chest, a long, tired exhale warming the fabric wetly and Steve shudders lightly before sliding his arm around Tony’s shoulders and turning him, guiding him.

Tony leans heavily against him in the elevator, and Steve can see his long dark lashes drooping, exhaustion in every line of his body.

He’s gentle as he guides Tony into his suite and towards the bedroom, but a soft feminine voice calling Tony’s name brings them both to a halt.

Pepper rises from the couch, dressed in a Black Sabbath T-shirt Steve’s seen Tony wearing a thousand times and a pair of underwear, her long legs pale in the moonlight.

Her sharp gaze lingers on Steve and where he’s touching Tony so he steps away, cheeks flushing, reaching back out to steady Tony when he sways tiredly.

“He had a nightmare,” Steve tells Pepper and she nods, smiling politely at him, lips thin, “Yes thank you Steve, I’ll deal with it.”

Something about that strikes him wrong—that she feels like Tony is something to be _dealt with_ —like an unruly toddler and not a man, hurting and in need of kindness. But he says nothing, just squeezes Tony’s arm gently and smiles at him, “Get some rest Tony,” he encourages, stepping back and letting his hand fall away as Pepper moves up beside Tony.

He notices she doesn’t offer Tony any support as he sways tiredly and for a moment he’s blindingly angry, and then Tony smiles at him sleepily and nods. “Thanks Steve, for everything,” he murmurs, dark eyes warm and tired and heat shivers through Steve’s body.

He leaves then, and tries to ignore all his instincts telling him to stick around and fight for Tony.

He’d almost forgotten, standing there in the kitchen with Tony in his arms, that Tony isn’t his.

He lays awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling until light begins to creep into the room, wondering if Pepper knows how he feels about Tony.

If maybe Tony knows.

If maybe, this isn’t his home anymore.

* * *

The tabloids scream out the news that Tony and Pepper are off again and Steve isn’t sure if he’s happy about that because Tony looks downright miserable when Steve manages to see him.

Most of the time he’s jetting off for SI work or locked in his shop, tinkering and creating all hours of the day and night, only emerging to eat and fall asleep during team movie night.

A whole month goes by like that and Steve finally goes down the shop, ready to tell Tony he needs to take a break, to encourage him to come up and watch a movie(Steve’s hoping he’ll sleep through it actually), when he pauses, every line of his body going stiff when he hears Pepper’s voice.

“You’re going to kill yourself Tony, and you know I don’t want any part of that.”

“I-I know Pep, but I’m, I’m trying to protect the one thing I can’t live without and that’s you,” Tony says, and Steve’s never heard his voice sound like that before—pleading and heartbroken.

It occurs to him then, that Tony will never love him the way he loves Pepper.

He’s numb, rooted to the spot, forced to listen as they talk softly, gut clenching when Pepper tells Tony he’s joining her in the shower and then he’s moving, not sure of where he’s going till he’s in his suite and packing a bag.

Whatever he had here, it’s gone.

It’s time to move on.

He leaves a note for Tony explaining that SHIELD needs him, that he’ll answer the call if the Avengers do too, and then he mounts his motorcycle and puts New York City and Tony Stark behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Emoji Key for those who don't know what to say in the comments!  
> ❤ = you wish you could kudos again  
> 😭 = I got you right in the feels  
> 🔥 = this was so hot!  
> 🐰 = it’s so fluffy!


End file.
